Death's Shine

Death. It is feared by many, but why? I hear people say things like it would suck to die young because they miss the experiences of life. Let me let you in on a little secret. I look forward to dying, make no mistake about it, but I am NOT suicidal. I am very happy with my life. That brings up another question that you might be wondering. Why would you want to die if you love your life? The answer can be summed up in one word, GOD. We hear the phrase, "he lost his life to cancer." FALSE! When you die, you don't "lose your life." You simply slip into an even greater life, an eternal life alongside the almighty creator, GOD.

Why would anyone want to spend any longer on this corrupt, sinful land, when you could be with God? There is no such thing as missing out on things of this earth because you died young. That just isn't true. Do you really think that while you're up there in Heaven standing alongside GOD, you will be thinking, "Man! I wish I was down there." That is not to say we shouldn't enjoy our life on this Earth. We should live this life to its fullest the way GOD prepared it.

Have you become too comfortable on this planet? Have you made this place your home? It's not your home, and nothing here can be brought with you after you die. The bible says to store our treasures in Heaven, not on this earth. This life is temporary. With that said, why do people center their lives around things that are here today and gone tomorrow? People idolize the temporary and ignore the eternal.

Live this moment like it's your last. I'm not saying to go out and fulfill your bucket list because that stuff doesn't matter. Ask yourself these questions. Are your treasures stored in Heaven or on this earth? Are you comfortable with dying at this moment, or would you feel cheated out of life? Better yet, are you looking forward to dying and being with GOD?

The Eternal Year

Chi Alpha's Fall Retreat was this past weekend, which brought me to think about last year. The change from last year at this time to now is incredible. Last year I went on the retreat out of guilt and peer pressure. This year, I couldn't have been any more excited for it. This time last year, I dreaded getting up for church. Monday Night Lives were long, boring, and weird. I hadn't read any of the Bible. In fact, I didn't even know the names of the four gospels. Now I love church and MNL. That guy that raised his hands in worship screaming out to Jesus that so weirded me out before is now me, and I have almost read the entire Bible. My life was changed by that retreat last year.

I got the chance to share what the retreat did for me a couple weeks ago at MNL (Here's the rough draft: http://michaelpanton.blogspot.com/2012/09/rough-draft-retreat-testimony.html). While I was pretty nervous, I liked being up on stage in front of hundreds. I felt so honored to have the chance to speak to all of Chi Alpha. The fact that Pete and the rest of the staff thought that I could make a difference in somebody's life is so encouraging. That is such a far cry from where I was a year ago. I grew up a pretty shy person, so just getting on the stage would have been a challenge for me. I definitely didn't have anything to share back then. That just goes to show how much God can do in just one year. Praise the LORD.

Rough Draft Retreat Testimony

So this is what I prepared for MNL a few weeks ago. It had to be no longer than like 6 minutes, so there is so much more to put in here. Here's just a little taste of my retreat experience.

I had been going to church every week since I was about 7 years old, but I hated it. Then we started going to the early service that started at 9. That was even worse. That went on for almost 10 years, just going through the routine. I never got involved with anything in my church and never wanted to. That’s just how it was.

I picked up a Bible from my church before leaving for college. At that time I was unsure whether I would go to church or not, so I got it just in case. I didn’t want to be the only guy without a Bible if I did end up going. I knew nothing about it though. I couldn’t even name the 4 gospels if you asked me. So that’s where I was coming into college.

I got involved with Chi Alpha in large part due to my roommate and friend from high school, Blake Thompson by going to events like the move-in day lunch at the Stud, Mug Party, and Block Party. So I went to the first MNL with him, and signed up for a core group. We got put into the same one led by the awesome trio of Alex Merrill, Peter Aman, and Collin Conrad.

The first few weeks went by so fast and before long it was time for the fall retreat. I must admit. I was not excited for it. Of course the leaders talked it up and were really pushing for all of us to go, but it wasn’t doing much for me. It was just so early. I kind of wanted to stay back and just hang out and get to know the people from my dorm better. The scholarship made it cheap enough to where money wasn’t an issue. I couldn’t give them a legitimate excuse not to go, so when they passed around the computer to sign up and I saw some other guys signing up including my roommate, I knew I had to go. I kind of got guilted into it.

We had a great speaker by the name of Dick Brodgen there. He’s kind of a big deal. It was centered around reaching out to the world and missions. It was about dying to yourself and living for God no matter where you’re at. At the time, I didn’t think I would ever be able to live how he described. Sure enough, I got his book the Live Dead Journal and read it over winter break. Dick Brodgen and his book were huge for me, even though it took a few months to finally register and get to that point. On top of the sessions, there was such great community. Being that it us so early in the year, I hadn’t hung out with my guys too much yet. Pranking is big. There is something about pranking your sister core groups that really brings the group together. The walmart run beforehand was too funny. So great! I wont go too much into detail on the pranks, but I will say that a girl was drug across the camp and thrown into the pool. How can you not be brothers for life after that? Just spending an entire weekend with other guys that are on fire for Jesus is contagious. Eating every meal with them, sleeping alongside them, and worshiping next to them. It’s not something you experience everyday.

Before the retreat, I dreaded a one hour a week church service and I didn’t really enjoy and look forward to MNLs either. Post retreat, I began to really enjoy MNL and church and looked forward to them weekly. It was literally as if someone flipped a switch. While worship was kind of awkward before with people raising there hands skyward and singing aloud, it became one of my absolute favorite things to do. Before and after the retreat were literally like day and night for me. The effects of the retreat were far and wide. I ended up getting baptized later that semester at an event called Dive Deep by the one and only Josh Fairchild, and its only gotten better since then. It has picked up right where it left off this year. I am living in the Buck Lodge XA house with the Young Whales. While it may seem early for yall, I know for me and plenty of other returning XA’ans, it cant come soon enough. Last year I almost missed out on such an amazing experience because I of the fear of missing out on my dorm. You will have plenty of weekends to spend with them, but there is only one fall retreat. Don’t let it pass by.

Grace Beyond Imagination

I've been thinking a lot about Jesus and just how miraculous he was and is. It is truly amazing what he did for us. Today at church this analogy came to mind that I'm about to share. It's the best comparison I can think of for what Jesus did for us on that cross. My hope is that it will help you better understand  the love God has for us and to deepen your love for him.

So imagine this. There is a man on death row. He is within hours of his execution for committing one of the most outrageous of crimes. Perhaps it is homicide, rape, or child molestation. Just imagine the most despicable crime you can think of. Now let's take it a step further and say he did this to you or your family. This criminal did the unthinkable by murdering your family or raping your daughter. The natural feeling is anger and even revenge. Nobody would blame you for feeling that way. Now imagine taking their place on death row. Instead of them dying for their crime, YOU die for their crime EVEN THOUGH it was a crime against you.

Jesus did just that but on a much higher level. We all sinned against God time and time again. We all deserve death for what we have done, are doing, and will do in the future, but Jesus took our place. Jesus died for us and our "crimes" against him. The only reason he would do this for us is out of his loving grace. There was no guarantee that we would even care. He didn't know if we would love him back. He died to cover our flaws and our sin. He gave us a free path from death into life. He opened the door, and all we have to do is walk through it. We were granted forgiveness and a new beginning.

So I return to the analogy. Would you be willing to die for somebody that took everything from you? Would you switch places with them to suffer the consequences that THEY deserve? It's not comfortable to think about such a situation. Today people mourn for the victims of violent crimes and condemn the perpetrator. My hope is that you would have a new way of thinking. I hope that you would mourn for both. In essence that criminal is no different than you and me. We are both sinners. As bad as the crime may be, they are also children of God. It breaks my heart to hear people give up on these criminals and say things like, "they deserve to rot in hell." We all deserve that. While it's natural for us to show sympathy and compassion for the victim and their family, it is equally important to do that for the other side. God never gave up on us, so why would we give up on others?

What Do You Really Need?

When you think of miracles, what comes to mind? Is it an incredible story of a kid falling 10 stories and surviving? Is it a guy that got impaled through the head with a rod and received little to no effects from it?

While those are indeed miraculous events, they don't even compare to the life of Jesus. I'm not talking about the feeding of the 5,000 or turning water into wine. The real miracle is in the bigger picture. Jesus did not come to be a miracle worker. He came to be our savior. The real miracle is being freely forgiven of our sins. We did not and can not earn forgiveness. It was given to us by the grace of God. This is no small matter. Too often does the story of Jesus get marginalized into the Easter story. Most of us have heard the story of his crucifixion and resurrection many times, and because of that, it has lost it's aw factor. Have you ever taken a step back to truly think about the grand nature of what happened. God, the creator of the universe, was walking side by side with people just like you and me. He chose to put the future in the hands of 12 ordinary men. Not only did he choose to minister mainly to the 12 average Joes, he himself lived as an average Joe. He didn't live a grand life. He lived as a carpenter for the first 30 years of his life.

God knows what we need even if we don't realize it ourselves. We may think that we need more money or time or someone to love and to love us back. The truth is that none of those things are important. What we really need is forgiveness, and God knows that. The good news is that it's just waiting for you. All you need to do is reach out and grab it!

Time to Answer the Call?

So earlier this summer I blogged about a very deep, transformative night. Here's the link below to hear more about that. Essentially it was about the moment where I stopped resisting God and put my trust fully with him.

http://michaelpanton.blogspot.com/2012/08/summers-frost.html

So after that night, I didn't really feel any different. Everything was pretty much the same. I just went about with the rest of my summer until I moved in with the Buck Lodge boys a.k.a. the Young Whales (It's kind of an inside thing but a pretty cool story. Maybe I'll blog about it sometime). Classes started up, and everything was pretty much the same. Things were a lot more difficult than last year but the same nonetheless. There is one thing that has changed somewhat though. It's been kind of a gradual change since last year, but I no longer enjoy physics to the extent that I used to. The more I thought about it, the more I disliked it. This past Sunday, September 9, during worship at church, it kind of hit me. I found myself kind of being pulled toward a future in ministry. I had kind of felt that before on that night in the summer but was really unsure. So after church, I sat down for quiet time, and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Also I kept thinking about a couple verses that my core group leader from last year, now intern and mentor Alex Merrill, shared with me that Friday.

10If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!11Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. ~Proverbs 24:10-11

This was a really strong pair of verses for me because I had been asking God "to break my heart for what breaks yours." This is a verse from the song "Hosanna" by Hillsong. So anyways, those verses were on my mind along with a ton of other things. I was going to do my lab report for physics, but I just couldn't concentrate. I was giddy with excitement. I kind of checked into classes and stuff along those lines and kind of decided that I wanted to switch my major from astrophysics to a double major in astronomy and religious studies. I looked into it and kind of set my mind on it. I did want to talk it out though, so I met up with Alex again. We talked for a good hour probably. He said a lot of useful things that really helped. I also talked to our campus pastor, Pete Bullette, the next morning. All of this was kind of rushed because the last day to add a class was Tuesday. 

So before my meeting with Pete, I prayed for discernment on what to do in the immediate future. I put my trust into whatever the outcome from these meetings. I didn't want my desires to get in the way of God's desires. So basically what both of them told me was this. Don't rush into anything. You don't want to put all your eggs in one basket. Regardless of my major, there would still be more training after I graduate. That was not really what I wanted to hear because I was all excited about the big change, but it did make sense. Astronomy and religious studies are not that useful of majors in terms of the marketplace. Pete told me that if I was his son, he would advise me to stay put at least for this semester. So leaving that meeting, all signs were kind of pointing toward staying put. I didn't want to and wasn't really sure what I was going to do. I even called my parents the night before and pretty much told them I was switching majors and looking to get into ministry. They seemed a little surprised but happy and supportive nonetheless.

I went to speak with my astronomy teacher to gauge the marketplace for astronomy majors, and just like I thought, it's not much. So after putting this all together, I decided to stick with physics for now. I am confident that I came to this decision through God with help from them. They certainly didn't make this decision for me. I do think I will return back to physics from astrophysics though to loosen up my schedule some for some more religion classes. I am pretty happy with my decision so far. I put a lot of stake in what Pete and Alex say. They are far wiser than me.

While I do still put a lot of merit to what I felt that Sunday morning during worship, I do feel like my own desires got in the way a little. I knew that if I switched majors, class would get easier. Rather than it being entirely about God and his will, my own selfish desires crept in. With that said, I do still believe that I could be being called into ministry and that excites me. Whether I am or not, I learned one thing about myself. I am willing to go wherever God takes me. I say that very humbly because I know that this was not a transformation I accomplished. It was God working in me and through me that has brought me to this point. So I am excited to see where physics takes me and how I can use it for God. Something I've also been thinking about is reaching out to my fellow physics students. God is not a big part of the physics department as you can imagine.

That was the beginning of my week for you. It was one like none other. Like I've said before and I'll say it again, regardless of my major or career, I look forward to serving God and spreading the gospel wherever I end up, which is such a far cry from where I was a year ago.