Inescapable Doubt

Doubt. It's an infection. It's something that plagues us all in seemingly every area of our lives. For some it only makes a brief visit, but for others it can fester in miserable ways. What is doubt, and why does it have so much power? Why can it sometimes begin to break down some of the most sturdy things in our lives? We can find assurance that we are not the only people to experience doubt. Every generation that came before us did as well. Specifically, I'm reminded of the story of the Exodus in the Bible.

To set the stage, God called Moses to return to Egypt (the land where he was raised). He was to return to free the Israelites from slavery, of which they've been under for hundreds of years. God ultimately leads the Israelites out via ten very specific plagues and through the Red Sea on foot. Even after seeing this the Israelites begin to doubt saying, "If only we had died by the LORD's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death" (Exodus 16:3). Not only do they doubt God, but they accuse Him of evil. They believe he brought them out to kill them. How could they believe such a thing so soon after the miraculous events that brought them out of captivity? They walked on the floor of the Red Sea for crying out loud! As soon as adversity and trouble set in, they hopped ship. They doubted God's faithfulness.

The answer to how they could doubt is actually quite simple. It dives into the essence of doubt. Simply put, the source of doubt is found in giving more weight to the present than the past and the future. The Israelites had seen God perform great miracles, but they gave more weight to the hunger pains in their stomachs. They continue to do this throughout the Exodus time and time again. It's not just them though. We do this too! Think about the last time you doubted God, or anybody for that matter. What were the present circumstances? Doubt usually comes in times of pain and struggle. It's that present anguish that disables the mind from remembering past faithfulness, love, etc, which leads to the production of doubt.

You see, we must live in the present, but not at the expense of remembering the past or hoping for the future. We must not dwell in the present. Emotions are strongest in the present, which gives the present an artificial weight. Let us recognize this reality and fight against it. Let us remember the feeling of the wet sand of the Red Sea beneath our feet. Let us remember the taste of sweet manna in our mouths. Let us remember those personal and intimate signs of God in our lives. Let us trust in the desert. Let us hope in the LORD.

I love what the father of the demon possessed boy in Mark 9 asks of Jesus. He says, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief." Let us be like that man. Let us choose to see the obvious, big picture and not be blinded by present circumstance and emotion. Let us pray for greater belief.

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." ~Psalm 27:14

Why Must We Live in Shame?

The other night, me and the guys that I live with (all 8 of us) were talking about honoring God in our relationships. The conversation was centered around kissing and the question of how far is too far? We talked about where our guardrails (aka boundaries) lie and why. Before too long, somebody mentioned how although guardrails are helpful, too many can produce shame. Someone even mentioned of an ex-Christian now petitioning for sexual freedom because she couldn't enjoy sex once she was married. It had been instilled in her that sex was bad, thus producing shame even in marriage. That led me to ponder the origins of shame. Where does shame come from? Following is a brief outpouring of my conclusion (although I'm still working it out).

There are two types of shame. I would classify them as 1) taught shame and 2) primordial shame. Here's what I mean by them both.

Taught shame is exactly that. It is shame that is taught. The ex-Christian lady that experienced shame with sex after marriage is an example of this. Taught shame is that which turns something that is not inherently shameful (in other words, something that's not sinful) into a house of shame. It is built on lies and deceit. This kind of shame is a valuable weapon used by Satan to penetrate the good in our lives. He uses it to destroy shalom in us and to corrupt God's original intent.

Primordial shame is that which is built into the order of creation. Merriam-Webster defines primordial as "existing from the beginning of time." This shame is a result of how we were made. God created us to be in relationship with Him. As a result, we have a certain inner disposition toward the good, toward God. When we cross that line, we feel shame. It's not because we've been taught that we should feel shame but that it is woven into our very being. To illustrate this, I will again use the sex example. God explicitly says that sex is to be reserved for marriage. Breaking such a command is breaking away from God's original intent. It is sinful. The natural consequence of this is shame. We see this today, even as hooking up is becoming more and more casual and accepted. The taught shame may be disappearing but primordial shame is not. Although still very much a poison in our lives, God can twist this type of shame to bring about healing. God can bring light into the darkness.

The difference comes down to this. Taught shame is external, while primordial shame is internal. Taught shame comes from others' teachings and views of us. Primordial shame comes from a breaking of the relationship with God and is felt regardless of whether or not culture agrees with the action. It comes from the breaking of shalom. Quite frankly the difference between these two shames is the difference between religion and Jesus.

Let us rejoice though, because we are not stuck in our shame. Although shalom may be broken, God wants to restore it. God wants to restore us. God wants to embrace us as His children. We live under the love and grace of an almighty King, God, and Friend that sent His Son to die on the cross, so that we may live!!

"Behold, I am making all things new." ~Revelation 21:5